Been remiss and absent

I have to say, I miss my old blog-- and I have tried to get in touch with Blogger to get back into Dinnerland, but I really need to let that go already.

I've been struggling, struggling to find my groove-- and perhaps I've found it, but I am not seeing anything at the scales yet.  Strangely enough, several people asked me if I've lost weight when I am sure I haven't since my clothes are fitting the same.
WTF?

Whatever: I am not giving up, which is my favorite theme, as you know.
I am quite distressed that my thinnest clothes in my closet are super tight-- I could wear a lot of them, but I find it to be a punishing reminder of the backslide.

Nevertheless: I continue my work.

My newest theory, which is not a new theory, but an attempt to go with some of the basic knowledge that is 'proven', is to try to eat the same things (more or less) on a daily basis.  This takes a lot of the decision making and calorie counting out.

My plan is also based on me deciding when to eat, when hungry-- so it wouldn't be useful to call things breakfast, lunch or dinner...here goes with what I am considering:

coffee w/ milk, creamer through the day--
1/2 scooped out/ toasted bagel w/ lite cream cheese and jam or marmalade-- found a bagel that has 5.5 grams of protein per half with 150 calories before I scoop out the soft part of the bagel
egg/ veggie 'cup' (I am experimenting with making these with a combo of egg/ egg whites, lite cheese, spinach, tomato in cupcake pans-- then freezing them to be unfrozen for a protein snack sometime during the day)-- somewhere between 100-150 calories
fruit serving-- and any additional fruit if hungry
protein w/ veg for 'evening meal' (dressing allowed on salad)
option: glass of wine (this uses anywhere from 150 to 200 calories, so not every day)
dessert of protein bar or 2 pc's ghiradelli chocolate

Clearly: the calorie count could be variable based on the structured choices, but here would be a sample day (taken partially from where I am at in my day so far):

Coffee w/ tbs hazelnut creamer and splash of milk-(counting for whole day, in case I have more)
     100 calories
1/2 bagel w/ cc/ jam
     150
Egg/ veggie cup
     150
Fruit (watermelon)
     80
Protein w/ veg (Sushi dinner)
     600
Wine
     200
Protein bar
     200

~1500 calories

I would like to see how that rolls out and that counts on consistency on my part... so I can't say that I will be 100% on target all the time-- but I am going to do my very best.  I've filled the structured eating with foods I enjoy and choices, but not too many so as to confuse.  I've also filled the day with choices I can find ANYWHERE, when are you out and cannot find a bagel or a roll? Or a piece of fruit? Or at dinner where there isn't fish with vegetables ( my preference.)
As for dessert-- I'll keep that at home, so I can control it, and I don't need a 200 calorie protein bar each night, but it is there.  I can just as easily have a cup of tea with milk and honey and perhaps no sweet (we'll see) or 1 pc of dark chocolate.

I'll report back, but I want my pride in myself and my sense of self as a thin and proud of it person back-- I don't have that now because I have gone into that cycle of 'try/ fail/ be depressed/ try again'.  Urgh.
To end on a positive note: what I'm planning is doable with my band, all I need to do is DO IT.