I haven't found the answer-- are you getting annoyed with me yet?
I am annoyed with me about this.... but I also understand that logging is HARD and that is why it is not always a successful venture.
I logged ALL of my food through dinner last night-- and then fell right off the track of logging.
Now: meaner or less forgiving individuals might just say 'well, just do it'-- but somehow: it's not working.
Perhaps, because it is so easy for me to log during the DAY, I should concentrate all of my best energy on logging at night?
Of course: another answer is to decide what I'm going to eat at night, and then limit it to that list of foods/ portions for a few days, and THEN it will be easy to log.
All good thoughts-- but which is the answer? Maybe all of them are the answer?
Have you ever wished you were someone else? I am having one of those moments... I wish I were not this stupid person who had to worry about these things. But that is a trap as well: by the time anyone is in her 40's, she needs to be taking care of her eating and focusing on keeping things under control lest the middle age spread come about. The 40's= The great equalizer in weight control.
The only difference is that those who were skinny or the right weight their whole lives are just starting up their journey of discovery of weight control-- they might even be rightly challenged or excited! I am not either of these... I am just annoyed.
Sigh.
I'm glad I"m posting this-- this is the true story of someone with a lap band, close to 3 years out. It works if you work it, and the harder and better you work it, the better it works.
Every day is a new day-- including this day. I hope to have a better report for y'all later or tomorrow.
Until then: stay tuned.
The real deal... one day at a time.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
My net diary
Cool calorie tracking ap. that I just downloaded - I'm just working on logging every bite.
Onward!
Onward!
Nike fuel report
Here I am sharing with you my NikeFuel progress reporting to date.
You may be asking, as am I, 'what the hell is NikeFuel anyway?' .... and I cannot tell you because I am not sure, and I don't entirely trust the step counts and don't know what the calories burned means.
What I do know is that that NikeFuel rating is a relative value (at least for me)-- and as you can see below, I am averaging about 3400 'NF' per day.. I've been tinkering with my goal, and generally, I am working on 3600 during the week and 5000 NF during the weekend... I hit my 'goal' for a streak of time. That ended yesterday, which was a 'lazier' day.
The Fuelband is definitely motivating me to move more and for that, I think it is an awesome device, but it is going to take some more time to figure out how to have it help me lose weight through movement. One 'step' at a time.
Any and all suggestions are happily listened to! (Note: my competitive self is thrilled that I am beating the ass of most people my age!)
Friday, July 27, 2012
Freak out weight, me and my fuel and molecular gastronomy
Thanks to our adorable Amy, Cheese and Sunkist Goddess, we are now batting around a new phrase (or should we thank Heather, who actually came up with the phrase? You decide...)
"Freak out Weight"
As with anything funny in my brain, I am now calling it "Le Freak out Weight" (pronounced "L-eh" -- not "Lee" to be very, very precise...and let you into my head).
This is an interesting concept that Amy shared on her blog- and it is probably self-explanatory, but in case it is not:
Your 'freak out weight' is the weight that you see on the scale where you have a horrible reaction/ anxiety attack/ start crying/ decide to starve yourself right now/ have some equally soul-killing thoughts based on a stupid number on the scale that indicates you've gained enough weight to reach to scare yourself sillly.
I have a freak out weight-- it is currently 168 pounds... and I've hit it a few times in recent months- and it has helped me to get myself repeatedly back on track.
That said: the trouble with le freak out weight is that it is a somewhat moving target.
I have had other, lower and higher, freak out weights.
I recall 'freaking out' when I stepped on the scale after freshman year and weighed 157 pounds-- gasp! (I wish I weighed that now.)
I think I've 'freaked out' from weighing as little as 143 pounds on my frame-- which is actually 'normal.'
I know I've 'freaked out' from weighing 185, 196, and finally 203 pounds... so those have all been in play at one time or another.
Oh: and I forgot-- I believe that the 160's should have been a freak out for me after reaching as low as 157ish while banded.
Do you see where I am going with this?
Maybe, maybe not, because there is more than one message here. On one hand: I believe having a freak out weight is really good-- Le Freak out weight is an excellent tool for sitting up and taking notice that shit is going south and you better eat right and straighten out NOW.
On the other hand, since the freak out weight can change and grow-- it is easy, if you are prone to 'weight gain denial' (raise your hand if you are in that club with me) -- the freak out weight is only as good as your memorialization of said weight and your willingness to get on a scale!
Bottom line: it is TOUGH because if it were easy to maintain one's weight, we'd all be skinny and staying there by now. But we all know it is not easy, and those of us further out from our band surgeries see that the stats don't lie and it is often hard to maintain the lowest weight reached. It is NOT impossible though: and it is NOT shameful (I keep saying this) to keep trying and keep working as you try to keep your weight down.
This is the message I keep saying to myself.
I'm using all the tools in my arsenal-- while also doing contrary things-- like eating too much at times and eating the wrong choices at times, because I am human (sorry) to keep my weight down,
I am sorry if this is scattered, I am not through my first cup of coffee yet and I am tired out.
Just wanted to share said rant.
I will end here, with a total non-sequitor: I have to share a funny haiku that I read on Facebook- I think it is awesome:
"Freak out Weight"
As with anything funny in my brain, I am now calling it "Le Freak out Weight" (pronounced "L-eh" -- not "Lee" to be very, very precise...and let you into my head).
This is an interesting concept that Amy shared on her blog- and it is probably self-explanatory, but in case it is not:
Your 'freak out weight' is the weight that you see on the scale where you have a horrible reaction/ anxiety attack/ start crying/ decide to starve yourself right now/ have some equally soul-killing thoughts based on a stupid number on the scale that indicates you've gained enough weight to reach to scare yourself sillly.
I have a freak out weight-- it is currently 168 pounds... and I've hit it a few times in recent months- and it has helped me to get myself repeatedly back on track.
That said: the trouble with le freak out weight is that it is a somewhat moving target.
I have had other, lower and higher, freak out weights.
I recall 'freaking out' when I stepped on the scale after freshman year and weighed 157 pounds-- gasp! (I wish I weighed that now.)
I think I've 'freaked out' from weighing as little as 143 pounds on my frame-- which is actually 'normal.'
I know I've 'freaked out' from weighing 185, 196, and finally 203 pounds... so those have all been in play at one time or another.
Oh: and I forgot-- I believe that the 160's should have been a freak out for me after reaching as low as 157ish while banded.
Do you see where I am going with this?
Maybe, maybe not, because there is more than one message here. On one hand: I believe having a freak out weight is really good-- Le Freak out weight is an excellent tool for sitting up and taking notice that shit is going south and you better eat right and straighten out NOW.
On the other hand, since the freak out weight can change and grow-- it is easy, if you are prone to 'weight gain denial' (raise your hand if you are in that club with me) -- the freak out weight is only as good as your memorialization of said weight and your willingness to get on a scale!
Bottom line: it is TOUGH because if it were easy to maintain one's weight, we'd all be skinny and staying there by now. But we all know it is not easy, and those of us further out from our band surgeries see that the stats don't lie and it is often hard to maintain the lowest weight reached. It is NOT impossible though: and it is NOT shameful (I keep saying this) to keep trying and keep working as you try to keep your weight down.
This is the message I keep saying to myself.
I'm using all the tools in my arsenal-- while also doing contrary things-- like eating too much at times and eating the wrong choices at times, because I am human (sorry) to keep my weight down,
I am sorry if this is scattered, I am not through my first cup of coffee yet and I am tired out.
Just wanted to share said rant.
I will end here, with a total non-sequitor: I have to share a funny haiku that I read on Facebook- I think it is awesome:
"I have a head cold. Sudafed is tough to buy. Guess I'll shoot myself." - a gun control haiku
*Meetings update: not going to happen, and I'm stopping with 'meetings' for now and staying put for the time being. Too much trouble to move at the moment and I just need a rest from the whole search. Besides: I've adjusted to where I'm at, and it is ok day to day. I've learned how to deal with the difficult personality stuff pretty well.*
*Meetings update: not going to happen, and I'm stopping with 'meetings' for now and staying put for the time being. Too much trouble to move at the moment and I just need a rest from the whole search. Besides: I've adjusted to where I'm at, and it is ok day to day. I've learned how to deal with the difficult personality stuff pretty well.*
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Damn I need to post more...
I am still in it-- and I keep thinking: I've gotta post, I've gotta post.
And then I feel like I shouldn't because I've lost so much ground with being in contact with so many people-- not to mention my total 'stuckness' at 166.
Groan.
I mean: I am glad I am not stuck at 185, 170 or whatever: but it is discouraging to be virtually 10 pounds up from my lowest weight after banding.
I am not giving up but I keep on restrategizing all the time.
The latest experiment has been working with my Nike fuel band-- and low and behold, it is not helping me take off any pounds. Why: because exercise alone simply will not do it.
For any and all of you out there who are like: *Headsmack*-- why are you such a moron? Eat less, and you will lose weight.
Thanks a lot!
I wish it were that simple-- but it is not.
But I'll keep on trying and I'll try to keep the blame and shame to a minimum as I sort things through... I just don't want to put on another pound and I really want to gradually climb back down that scale.
I believe there is a wire I can trip in myself, but this week is definitely wrong for reasons related to stress that I cannot discuss on my blog.
Suffice it to say that I am taking meetings again-- and have been for several months-- but not sure if anything will bear fruit. We will see.
I know that making any changes in my weekly place I go would probably kick off some major motivation in the way of needing to do some serious suit shopping-- but let's take a step at a time, as I've been doing this dance (with different partners!) for a while.
Le sigh.
Keep on keeping on band friends.
And then I feel like I shouldn't because I've lost so much ground with being in contact with so many people-- not to mention my total 'stuckness' at 166.
Groan.
I mean: I am glad I am not stuck at 185, 170 or whatever: but it is discouraging to be virtually 10 pounds up from my lowest weight after banding.
I am not giving up but I keep on restrategizing all the time.
The latest experiment has been working with my Nike fuel band-- and low and behold, it is not helping me take off any pounds. Why: because exercise alone simply will not do it.
For any and all of you out there who are like: *Headsmack*-- why are you such a moron? Eat less, and you will lose weight.
Thanks a lot!
I wish it were that simple-- but it is not.
But I'll keep on trying and I'll try to keep the blame and shame to a minimum as I sort things through... I just don't want to put on another pound and I really want to gradually climb back down that scale.
I believe there is a wire I can trip in myself, but this week is definitely wrong for reasons related to stress that I cannot discuss on my blog.
Suffice it to say that I am taking meetings again-- and have been for several months-- but not sure if anything will bear fruit. We will see.
I know that making any changes in my weekly place I go would probably kick off some major motivation in the way of needing to do some serious suit shopping-- but let's take a step at a time, as I've been doing this dance (with different partners!) for a while.
Le sigh.
Keep on keeping on band friends.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Nike-Love!
Here you see my 2 day old Nike+ band and my report for the day so far.
This thing is totally awesome!!!
I have been doing my walking every morning- and to boot: now I have this cool tool to track my progress and when I am active and so on.
It already motivated me to go from 50 minutes to 60 minutes on my walk today-- I want that NikeFuel and my steps to be up there.
I think that the steps may be somewhat off (and on the high side) but it is all relative-- and what I really want to see is that I can increase activity over time. I don't think I can probably find much more TIME in each day to exercise, as I am now walking at least 45 minutes per day (if not 60 minutes).... but I know that the band will pick up greater intensity AND my activity while I am at my desk j0b.
The idea is to keep moving and earning the NikeFuel...anyhow: this is such a fun device, though many call it an expensive and glorified pedometer-- it is PERFECT for little ol me.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Yay!!!!! I figured out how to go back to the old Blogger interface-- and some sexy shoes!
Wahoo-- now my blog looks like I remember blogs looking like.. and I feel more comfortable posting.
Yay again!
Anyhow: my doggy is standing by my bed, awaiting her walk, so I'm going to take her now.
I am excited to keep writing and posting. I cannot tell you how that screwy interface messed me up!
Wow.
Oh: and if you're reading, I'd love it if you'd join my site-- I would like some of my old followers back, please and thanks!
Here is a pic of the shoes I was wearing yesterday- they caused a sensation at work and my sister loved them so much she shot a pic of me wearing them and tweeted it. I feel 'speshul.'
Yay again!
Anyhow: my doggy is standing by my bed, awaiting her walk, so I'm going to take her now.
I am excited to keep writing and posting. I cannot tell you how that screwy interface messed me up!
Wow.
Oh: and if you're reading, I'd love it if you'd join my site-- I would like some of my old followers back, please and thanks!
Here is a pic of the shoes I was wearing yesterday- they caused a sensation at work and my sister loved them so much she shot a pic of me wearing them and tweeted it. I feel 'speshul.'
Friday, July 13, 2012
.1 makes a difference and Nk+
Hey y'all.
So I saw Dr. K and was down 2 pounds from my last visit.
Holding steady at my current weight of 166-- and am grateful that I stopped the gain and am working towards a loss...
Got a .1 fill from Dr. K and a great tip-- who knows about the N*ike+ Band? It is a fancy pedometer and mine just arrived. Dr. K recommended it (she was wearing one when I saw her...)
Anyway: I am so excited about it, especially since I continue to walk about 45 to 50 minutes a day with 'le dog'-- thanks doggy!!!
Anyway: I am still really, really struggling to understand the new blogger formatting-- it is not intuitive and easy for me to post. Sigh. But I am glad to see friends check in and I don't want to quit my blogging.
Barbara- tx for the lovely comment! I was pretty happy with the pix considering.
One other observation: so much of my view of myself in the mirror is psychology... that is why I need the scale (I know it is not for everyone.) But I went from feeling pretty 'fat' to feeling much better after I got some needed encouragement (and not even a whole lot- I am considered to be a pretty experienced bandster and it is 'in and out' even more so now than ever...) from Dr. K.
The bottom line is always: if you lost weight since last time-- ALL GOOD to go.
So, I was happy that she was approving.
Nevertheless, I know how much getting those 2 pounds down and my overall control that I had to exert 'cost' in terms of time, effort and fear... so I am glad for that .1 and am taking it for a ride. Glad to say that I am eating all textures and doing well. Just much less craving and smaller portions.
Have I said: I love thee band? It is a really good method for me... I may not be skinny-- but I consider my weight loss and my ongoing efforts and my ability to be so much further down the scale such progress.
Now if I could only lose another 5 to 10 pounds... but I am super happy that I've gotten control and that I'm keeping it up y'all.
Cheers!
So I saw Dr. K and was down 2 pounds from my last visit.
Holding steady at my current weight of 166-- and am grateful that I stopped the gain and am working towards a loss...
Got a .1 fill from Dr. K and a great tip-- who knows about the N*ike+ Band? It is a fancy pedometer and mine just arrived. Dr. K recommended it (she was wearing one when I saw her...)
Anyway: I am so excited about it, especially since I continue to walk about 45 to 50 minutes a day with 'le dog'-- thanks doggy!!!
Anyway: I am still really, really struggling to understand the new blogger formatting-- it is not intuitive and easy for me to post. Sigh. But I am glad to see friends check in and I don't want to quit my blogging.
Barbara- tx for the lovely comment! I was pretty happy with the pix considering.
One other observation: so much of my view of myself in the mirror is psychology... that is why I need the scale (I know it is not for everyone.) But I went from feeling pretty 'fat' to feeling much better after I got some needed encouragement (and not even a whole lot- I am considered to be a pretty experienced bandster and it is 'in and out' even more so now than ever...) from Dr. K.
The bottom line is always: if you lost weight since last time-- ALL GOOD to go.
So, I was happy that she was approving.
Nevertheless, I know how much getting those 2 pounds down and my overall control that I had to exert 'cost' in terms of time, effort and fear... so I am glad for that .1 and am taking it for a ride. Glad to say that I am eating all textures and doing well. Just much less craving and smaller portions.
Have I said: I love thee band? It is a really good method for me... I may not be skinny-- but I consider my weight loss and my ongoing efforts and my ability to be so much further down the scale such progress.
Now if I could only lose another 5 to 10 pounds... but I am super happy that I've gotten control and that I'm keeping it up y'all.
Cheers!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
New amazing photo tricks!
Ok, so I know I've just joined the ipod party late - but damn this technology rocks !
Here are some pix of moi today after my 2nd walk- I am so into my audio book, I am compelled to walk and listen.
One of these days I hope to sort out how blogger works now and make my blog easier to look at!
Here are some pix of moi today after my 2nd walk- I am so into my audio book, I am compelled to walk and listen.
One of these days I hope to sort out how blogger works now and make my blog easier to look at!
Exercise log week of 7/2/12
I did a total of 305 minutes of walking -my ipod is a great thing for my walking. Yay to that...adjustment this week and I need it. I definitely feel the band working but need better hunger and satiety help...
Saturday, July 7, 2012
I can't deal with the new Blogger!
Ack, I find this new format so difficult.
Quick update: I am walking every day with the doggy-- 50 minutes this morning and no less than 40 every day this week.
I am going for a fill this Wednesday-- I still think I need one.
And: it is not easy to stay off thecarbs 'crack' (ha ha)... so I need to go back to the drawing board with limiting rice, pasta, bread etc etc.
The more I eat, the more I want. Ugh.
No one is perfect and that includes me-- no guilt, move on.
Quick update: I am walking every day with the doggy-- 50 minutes this morning and no less than 40 every day this week.
I am going for a fill this Wednesday-- I still think I need one.
And: it is not easy to stay off the
The more I eat, the more I want. Ugh.
No one is perfect and that includes me-- no guilt, move on.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Exercise log
I am experimenting with blogger- now working on posting a photo of my exercise log... Let's see if it works!
If it does, I will be posting more photos soon.
If it does, I will be posting more photos soon.
I'm not gone....
I read an article in the NY Times this week about people who say they are 'busy' to seem important. Whatever: I am genuinely SO busy that I don't have time to do certain things I like to do-- like blog!
I am debating whether to continue-- but I love my blog. Trouble is that I cannot blog while at the place I go, there is very restricted internet access now b/c there has been all sorts of checking by the person in charge of internet usage. Whilst I can still GET blogger, I don't want to tempt the fates and have that person looking at what I'm doing.
Sheesh.
I did get an iPod and am thinking of maybe using that to blog, but I don't have Wifi at the place I go. Ugh!!!
Anyway: I am not gone, and my last weigh in was a heartening 165.3... I am continuing my progress in some fits and starts, but I know that carbs are crack to me (thx Barbara for pointing this out and Lap band gal for the reference!!)
More robust post to follow... but feel free be in touch on this blog even if I don't post daily... xoxo
I am debating whether to continue-- but I love my blog. Trouble is that I cannot blog while at the place I go, there is very restricted internet access now b/c there has been all sorts of checking by the person in charge of internet usage. Whilst I can still GET blogger, I don't want to tempt the fates and have that person looking at what I'm doing.
Sheesh.
I did get an iPod and am thinking of maybe using that to blog, but I don't have Wifi at the place I go. Ugh!!!
Anyway: I am not gone, and my last weigh in was a heartening 165.3... I am continuing my progress in some fits and starts, but I know that carbs are crack to me (thx Barbara for pointing this out and Lap band gal for the reference!!)
More robust post to follow... but feel free be in touch on this blog even if I don't post daily... xoxo
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